since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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