i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
