I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Randomize
