You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
