i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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