Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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