So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
