sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
ttyl tear gas
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
