bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
