I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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