Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
