i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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