Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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