so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize