For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
It's never too late to be topless.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Randomize