Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
