I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
