Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
