After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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