Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
You ruined the universe
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
