You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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