I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
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