would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
The Olympian is in my bed
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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