I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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