it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
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