So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
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it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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