part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
