What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
