remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
she woke up with a sticky ear
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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