areolas are like halos for boobs.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
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