She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
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