so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
