when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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