Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
