Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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