halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
