You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
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