you win again, gameday.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
