this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
