We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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