But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Randomize
