...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
