I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
