if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Can you bring me the toilet please
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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