I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just pee around me
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
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