As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
