she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
