toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
