so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
