He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
