There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
