Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
