U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Small penises have feelings too.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
