Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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