we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
