Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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