the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
