ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
now i know why i became what i already was.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
