On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
