I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
