Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
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