That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
