Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
is wine microwaveable?
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
You have to summon your inner elephant
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
