It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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