You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
