and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
